I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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