Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize