He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize