Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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