apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
