I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
