Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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