you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
