is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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