You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize