You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
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