I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
