how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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