I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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