Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
