he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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