he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
