Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
