i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
