Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
