Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
