The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
