I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
