guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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