Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
