"it" just moved
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
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