My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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