He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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