I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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