And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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