I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize