sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
