yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How external is "for external use only"?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
