I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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