I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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