would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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