So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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