I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
God I need to hump something, right now.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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