we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
