YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize