PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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