for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize