i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
