Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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