I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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