ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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