I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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