I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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