Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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