No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
