Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
