the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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