Im at strip club and am horny
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
