Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
