did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
